This is my life now. Full time nurse - like what I prayed for. Everyday is an adventure. Every few months I am plucked out of a comfort zone from one area and placed in a new area where I know nothing of what to do - where you’ll have to develop another working relationship with new people, work with new diseases, new cases, new medications, new work processes. It’s an adventure. And I am a chameleon. I flex, I adapt, I morph whenever needed.  I’d rather look at it that way than nag about how stressful everything is. And it’s working pretty well for me. 

But I know I’m not meant to stay here forever. There will be greater things.

blah

you know those days when you’re just met with a big BLOW? today is one of them days. Only, i get more than one blow. Man, i feel so miserable. =( But I survived work. i can’t believe how amazing i felt a week ago. now its just blaaah. lift me up please? someone? 

that’s my friend who went to Bali and got to meet him. HIM. He’s Ketut Liyer. That medicine man from Eat.Pray.Love. I almost gasped in awe when i saw this picture. I so want to meet him and have him read my palm or something like that. Bali? when can i get to you? I’m scared he might die on me. But my friend says he’s lookin’ healthy! =)

hi tumblr. its been a while since i actually posted something. i missed you though. Here’s me during the biggest Philippine festival - SINULOG. lots of stuff happened. its still same old same old me. And its an entirely new year. i just can’t help but wonder:

HOW WILL I BE BY THE END OF THIS YEAR?

the latest movie i watched in big screen. finally! i have a life! life’s been a roller coaster lately.  i mean - roller coaster. crazy. but i can’t understand myself. there’s enough trouble but it seems i still want something eruptively exciting to happen. go figure me out. =/

now, i wash my own clothes again. i’m in the middle of accepting that i am under a ‘biatchy’ senior nurse for 3 months (and i am crossing my fingers it would be less than that time). i just survived another shift with her as my partner. she must have been in a good mood.

and so back to the movie…. this cheered me up when i felt really ‘slumpy-depressed’ secondary to a biatchy senior nurse a few days ago. check out the reviews over at IMDB. the fight scenes are superb and uber entertaining. =) the characters are charming. and i love all the costumes! eyegasm.

Hello October! Goodbye September. I can’t believe I survived you. You came with me so filled with fears and doubts and worries. But now, I can’t believe you’re done and gone and it’s another month. Goodbye September. You came by in a flash, I almost didn’t notice. Hello October. I’ll be tough for you. My October schedule sucks. =/ I’ll be tough.

my office cubicle back in my old job more than a month ago. I kept my space cheerful. And I always had a lot of food and drinks on my table. I often answered calls with food stuck on my mouth. But I had good audit scores despite that. I loved the fact that I had two huge screens in front of me and had only one CPU and mouse which I could run on both screens. Kewl. T’was nice but sitting a lot and facing computer screens wasn’t really a job that could use up my believed-to-be potential. Seriously, a nurse’s job is much more of an adventure. Just a thought.

I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t always have every strand of my hair in place. In fact, at times it’s just all over the place and I wouldn’t care. I am not the epitome of prim, proper and grace. I’m the  kind of girl who doesn’t have everything. I don’t even know if I have the right to call myself a ‘girl’ when I’m THIS age.

But I know who I am and I know what I want. I know what I hate. And I know what I love. I know what I believe in. I know what to fight for. And I know when to give up. 

And I guess I wouldn’t trade all that for being Little Miss Perfect with her hair-always-in-place.

God made me this way. And I have to love every bit of it.

it’s my new twitter and tumblr thumbnail. NO. not bride-to-be. won’t be for a very long long long time. Who knows? maybe I won’t even get married.

there’s one thing i know though. TODAY, feels liberating. Not thinking of any guy who could potentially break my heart. Just considering myself and making my tough as iron heart happier. Being single never felt better. <3

but if prince charming is out there…heck, maybe he’d be a pauper or a blacksmith or a robin hood….i don’t really care… but if you’re out there and you’d only end up makin’ me cry because of overflowing joy, then lets run away to morocco or bali or egypt or india-somewhere romantic. Lets embrace and kiss like there’s no tomorrow, be happy and get married. *bow*

—-scratch that. Let’s be happy, get married. ANd be HAPPY some more.

that’s more like it.

Those moments when you weren’t looking. You weren’t paying attention. And then you look back and realize how precious and beautiful that moment was.

having my thoughts drift is kind of my unknown talent. my thoughts and i converse a lot.

so why make such a fuss on taking pictures?

1. its fun to pose. and don’t deny it, everyone has that shred of vanity that needs to be satiated in pictures.

2.they’re timeless. having that one moment frozen in a photograph is priceless.

3.they’re change-proof. All those in a picture might have changed a great deal. but a photo never does. it stays the same.

4.through time, they preserve everything that our memory can’t.

5.you can lie in pictures when you can’t in real life.

On a laidback sunday afternoon. simple things like these really become the sprinkles and cherry on top of my day.

N: sometimes I think that friendship is stronger than love.

B: why?

N: look at us. even if we’ve been miles and miles apart for a long time, it seems like our friendship never changed. its as strong as ever.

B: and love?

N: that doesn’t even survive the distance.

Do you believe that people wear masks everyday? I believe everyone does. It’s a way of survival. You wear a mask of happiness to hide the worry and the loneliness or maybe a mask of strength when inside you’re all crumbling and weak. Ever tried wearing a mask of smiles when all you really wanna do is just space out and stare at one thing for the longest time? Or maybe you’ve tried wearing a mask of confidence when in truth there’s a lot of insecurities you hide inside of you. It’s alright. I do to. It’s human.

But at one point or another, you’ll have to discard all the masks and just face what is. What do you get? Vulnerability. If anyone could help it, no one would want to be vulnerable. But you can’t run away. Even the most powerful person in the world has been vulnerable. Is vulnerable and will still feel vulnerable. It’s alright. Vulnerability is human too.

It all reminds me of putting on make-up. One book told me that lipstick is like a weapon from which a woman hides. She puts it on and faces the world fearlessly and fiercely. But at the end of the day, she has to take her weapon off. Make-up-less. Weaponless. Living through vulnerability like that - that makes her tough. Don’t you think?

Today is so not a great day. I’m sick and then there’s the cramps i get every month. It makes me think of the MINIMALIST style. Simple. Minimal and devoid of all the clutter. There’s so much useless clutter in my head and in my body right now that I just want to sweep them all away. I want me clean and devoid of clutter. Eliminate the un-needed. Let remain only the necessary. Blah.

I was just hoping for something nice when I get back. I didn’t get any of that. Blah.